Navigating the tightrope of motherhood and personal ambition can feel isolating, but you're not alone. Remember when I decided to run for Congress at 26, juggling the demands of two young kids? That experience taught me volumes about societal expectations and the guilt often thrust upon mothers who dare to dream beyond their domestic roles. Join me as we get into the deep-seated roots of "mom guilt" in patriarchal society, dissecting how it serves to limit mothers from reaching their full potential.
Throughout this episode, you'll hear stories and strategies about breaking free from the cycle of guilt that often comes with pursuing personal interests while raising children. We challenge the culturally ingrained notion that a mother's life should revolve entirely around her children, especially prevalent in communities of color. The conversation emphasizes the critical importance of self-care, advocating it not just as an indulgence but a necessary component of effective parenting. By prioritizing your own well-being, you model a balanced and healthy lifestyle for your children, ultimately enriching your family life.
Prepare to be inspired as we explore practical steps for redefining motherhood on your own terms. We offer a three-step process to dismantle these limiting beliefs, empowering you to integrate personal fulfillment with parenting responsibilities. As we tackle the unrealistic expectations mothers face, the focus shifts to embracing joy and individuality in parenting. Let this episode be your guide in rejecting societal molds that no longer serve you, creating a life where both you and your children thrive. 




Episode Highlights: 

Breaking Free from Conditioned Behaviors:
We explore how mom guilt is not an inherent feeling but a conditioned behavior reinforced by societal expectations. The episode highlights the pressure on women, particularly in culturally rich communities, to sacrifice personal dreams for motherhood. We discuss the impact on maternal health and the necessity of prioritizing self-care for both personal well-being and as a model for children.

Balancing Personal Fulfillment and Parenting: Finding balance between personal ambitions and parenting duties. By sharing my own experiences, I emphasize the importance of maintaining individuality while ensuring children's well-being. We challenge the unrealistic expectation of enjoying every moment of parenting, advocating for self-care and mental health as crucial for a joyful parenting experience.



Three Action Steps to Take:

Identify External Beliefs: Begin by reflecting on the beliefs you hold about motherhood and mom guilt. Determine which of these beliefs are imposed by societal or familial expectations rather than originating from your own values. Recognizing these external influences will help you discern which beliefs do not serve your personal fulfillment and happiness.

Challenge and Reframe: Once you have identified these external beliefs, actively challenge them. Ask yourself which parts of these beliefs are genuinely yours and which are simply imposed. Reframe your perspective to align with what truly matters to you as an individual and as a parent, rejecting societal molds that don't resonate with your personal values.

Implement Small Changes: Make one small, meaningful change in your parenting approach that prioritizes your own well-being. This could be scheduling regular self-care activities, pursuing a personal interest, or simply taking time for yourself. By doing so, you will nurture a more balanced and joyful family life, modeling a healthy lifestyle for your children. This shift will empower you to be a more fulfilled and effective parent on your own terms.


Journaling Prompts
Prompt 1: What part of my mom guilt isn't actually mine?
Prompt 2: How can you shift one belief about parenting today to better serve your happiness and your family?

Conclusion: Mom guilt is not an inherent part of who you are; it's a societal construct designed to hold you back. By recognizing and rejecting these imposed beliefs, you reclaim your power and redefine motherhood on your own terms. Embrace self-care and personal fulfillment as essential components of effective parenting. You are not a bad mom for pursuing your dreams; you are setting a powerful example for your children. You deserve joy and individuality, and by letting go of these outdated expectations, you're paving the way for a healthier, more empowered version of yourself. 

Next week’s episode we're going to be talking about how you can still have a beautiful, spiritual, woo-woo life without the absolute dick punch that is organized religion. 

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Meet Alexis Frank

 
There are three things in life I’ve never enjoyed being: tired, uncomfortable in my clothes, and unable to afford the things I want.

Three things in life I had been for awhile: tired, uncomfortable in my clothes, and unable to afford the things I want (first world problems, am I right?)

Those things served a purpose in my life, but no longer suited who I believe to be, the best version of myself. 

Let me give you some background

My brother and I were raised by a single mother, in NYC, who dedicated her life to teaching special education students. It goes without saying that we never had a lot of money. We never questioned where our next meal was coming from and we got to travel to beautiful places (on a tight budget of course), but we knew the reality of our finances at a very young age.

So in order to save my mother the ungodly burden of co-signing on loans for college, I joined the Army at 17, which for 6 years, made me both tired and uncomfortable in my clothes (those boots were not the business). But it was at this point, I experienced having money, and I knew I liked that. But the rest had to go.

I met my husband before I got out of the military, and we had our son. I worked for a few small businesses, spent some time as a SAHM, which I loathed (don’t judge, it ain’t for everyone), and finished up a few degrees. This left me both tired and unable to afford the things I wanted (which was just a nice vacation without a screaming baby for two nights). So again, I knew something had to change.

Fast forward to when we got the opportunity to change duty stations. I was finishing up my MBA and I was able to finally land a position in corporate America, which I thought I had always wanted (Alexa: play “living the American dream). I tried my best to make the most of it and to be grateful for the opportunity, but my commute was horrible, my pantsuits were tight (I was pregnant with our third child), my heels hurt, and most of my meetings could have been emails. 

Then the pandemic hit, and I got to work from home. As horrible as it was, I finally thought to myself “this is how I do it. I get to work from home in my pajamas, make money, spend more time with my kids, and take naps.” But I was wrong again.

When my husband changed duty stations again, I was placed on a high profile program with my company that demanded mandatory overtime. I knew then that corporate life was never going to give me the time freedom I needed, and that starting my business was the only way I could build the life I wanted which included leggings and vacations.

The Filing Cabinet was born out of my realization that I had been coaching people ever since my teenage years. My friends and colleagues have always seen me as the go-to expert for pretty much any issues they have ever had. I pride myself on that, and I want to use over 15 years of that experience to coach you through leaving your corporate job, realizing your entrepreneurial potential, and helping you scale your life and business to unprecedented heights (and in your sweatpants, if you’re anything like me).

There is no blanket version of success, and I suspect you are here because you are tired of the version we have been sold. We don’t dream of labor and hustle culture is toxic in our eyes. But we have the drive to build something big, so that we can take advantage of the fruits of our labor, far sooner rather than later

Are you finally ready to spend more time doing things that light up your soul? Then let’s get started

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