Being an eldest daughter often means shouldering expectations that start so subtly, you might not even notice them at first. Picture this: growing up, you were the one always given the dolls and cleaning playsets that nurtured you to care for others. But that might of come with hidden burdens of Eldest Daughter Syndrome, where societal and familial roles quietly shape our paths from childhood, often leading us into caretaking responsibilities that sideline our own aspirations. We dig into the roots of people-pleasing tendencies that blossom in families with emotionally immature parents and offer insights on breaking free from this cycle.
Feeling the weight of perfectionism and family expectations isn't just a mental battle—it's a physical too. Many of us in the "Worthy" community know all too well the anxiety and overwhelm these pressures cause. We explore how emotional suppression can manifest as physical ailments, and delve into the intriguing idea that ADHD and PTSD symptoms may be threads in a tapestry of inherited family trauma. Despite facing critique for tackling these topics without a medical license, we stress the importance of acknowledging and addressing our mental and physical health to enhance our well-being.
Reclaiming your independence starts by redefining what it means to truly be free. We talk about the difference between self-sufficiency and genuine independence, and how releasing unrealistic expectations allows us to embrace our feminine energy. This shift makes room for healthier relationships and personal growth, where setting boundaries becomes an act of self-love. We aim to inspire a journey toward self-discovery, encouraging listeners to reclaim their personal power and financial success. 



Episode Highlights: 

Exploration of Eldest Daughter Syndrome: 
Alexis takes a deep dive into the psychological and emotional challenges faced by eldest daughters. She explains how societal and familial expectations often trap these women in roles that prioritize others' needs over their own. This syndrome, while not medically recognized, manifests in patterns that can significantly impact one's well-being.


Impact of Perfectionism: Eldest daughters are often burdened with the expectation to excel in every aspect of life, leading to perfectionism.

Breaking Free from Family Expectations: Examine the pressures imposed on you by family dynamics and cultural norms. Challenge and redefine these expectations, with setting boundaries and focusing on self-care and self-love.

Embracing Feminine Energy: The concept of feminine energy as a means to achieve true independence. Embracing this energy can lead to healthier relationships and a more balanced life. The difference between being self-sufficient and being genuinely independent, is the importance of letting go of control and reducing anxiety.


Three Action Steps to Take:

Recognize and Break the Cycle of People-Pleasing:
Reflect on your upbringing and identify patterns of people-pleasing and self-sacrifice that may have developed due to family expectations. Start by journaling about moments when you prioritized others' needs over your own aspirations. Once identified, consciously practice setting boundaries and saying no when necessary to prioritize your own well-being and goals.


Redefine Independence and Embrace Feminine Energy:
Differentiate between self-sufficiency and genuine independence. Consider what true freedom means to you beyond fulfilling familial roles. Embrace feminine energy by allowing yourself to relax, delegate tasks, and receive help from others. Practice releasing control over situations and trust in your decisions, which can lead to healthier relationships and personal growth.


Focus on Personal Healing and Self-Discovery:
Begin a journey of self-discovery to understand your true identity beyond familial labels. Engage in activities that nurture your emotional and physical health, such as mindfulness practices, therapy, or joining support groups like the "Worthy Everything" community. Address unresolved stress and trauma, which may be contributing to physical ailments, and explore potential links between family trauma and conditions like ADHD or PTSD. Use journal prompts such as "Why is it so important to me that I make my family happy?" to explore your motivations and desires, helping you move towards a life filled with freedom and abundance.



Journaling Prompts
Prompt 1: Why is it so important to me that I make my family happy?
Prompt 2: Where can I put myself first, today and every day?


ConclusionYour journey to independence and self-discovery starts with acknowledging that the burdens placed upon you are not yours to bear. It's time to break free from the expectations that have overshadowed your dreams. Embrace your true self, redefine what independence means to you, and let go of perfectionism and people-pleasing tendencies. By releasing these inherited patterns, you open the door to a life filled with freedom, abundance, and genuine self-love. This is your time to step into your power and live life on your own terms. Your future is yours to create, and it starts with choosing yourself.

Last episode of the season join my email list here to stay upto date on Season 2 coming soon. We will have guests, Q&A, and coaching episodes where I help you. 

If you want to apply to be guest or for spot to be coached by me email. 
thefcconsultant@gmail.com



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Meet Alexis Frank

 
There are three things in life I’ve never enjoyed being: tired, uncomfortable in my clothes, and unable to afford the things I want.

Three things in life I had been for awhile: tired, uncomfortable in my clothes, and unable to afford the things I want (first world problems, am I right?)

Those things served a purpose in my life, but no longer suited who I believe to be, the best version of myself. 

Let me give you some background

My brother and I were raised by a single mother, in NYC, who dedicated her life to teaching special education students. It goes without saying that we never had a lot of money. We never questioned where our next meal was coming from and we got to travel to beautiful places (on a tight budget of course), but we knew the reality of our finances at a very young age.

So in order to save my mother the ungodly burden of co-signing on loans for college, I joined the Army at 17, which for 6 years, made me both tired and uncomfortable in my clothes (those boots were not the business). But it was at this point, I experienced having money, and I knew I liked that. But the rest had to go.

I met my husband before I got out of the military, and we had our son. I worked for a few small businesses, spent some time as a SAHM, which I loathed (don’t judge, it ain’t for everyone), and finished up a few degrees. This left me both tired and unable to afford the things I wanted (which was just a nice vacation without a screaming baby for two nights). So again, I knew something had to change.

Fast forward to when we got the opportunity to change duty stations. I was finishing up my MBA and I was able to finally land a position in corporate America, which I thought I had always wanted (Alexa: play “living the American dream). I tried my best to make the most of it and to be grateful for the opportunity, but my commute was horrible, my pantsuits were tight (I was pregnant with our third child), my heels hurt, and most of my meetings could have been emails. 

Then the pandemic hit, and I got to work from home. As horrible as it was, I finally thought to myself “this is how I do it. I get to work from home in my pajamas, make money, spend more time with my kids, and take naps.” But I was wrong again.

When my husband changed duty stations again, I was placed on a high profile program with my company that demanded mandatory overtime. I knew then that corporate life was never going to give me the time freedom I needed, and that starting my business was the only way I could build the life I wanted which included leggings and vacations.

The Filing Cabinet was born out of my realization that I had been coaching people ever since my teenage years. My friends and colleagues have always seen me as the go-to expert for pretty much any issues they have ever had. I pride myself on that, and I want to use over 15 years of that experience to coach you through leaving your corporate job, realizing your entrepreneurial potential, and helping you scale your life and business to unprecedented heights (and in your sweatpants, if you’re anything like me).

There is no blanket version of success, and I suspect you are here because you are tired of the version we have been sold. We don’t dream of labor and hustle culture is toxic in our eyes. But we have the drive to build something big, so that we can take advantage of the fruits of our labor, far sooner rather than later

Are you finally ready to spend more time doing things that light up your soul? Then let’s get started

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